I am sorry that I was recorded calling that woman a "bigot" in the back of my car. I realise that that was a low thing to do, and that I should have called her a bigot to her face. I have already telephoned her in person and have called her a bigot directly.
I stand by what I said. She is a bigot. I understand what fuels her bigotry. It is foreign people. Foreign people who don't speak English terribly well. Foreign people who come from foreign countries. Foreign people who eat strange foodstuffs. Foreign people coming over here and competing with her for jobs. She doesn't like that. And why would she? She wants a job for life, with good pay. She wants a shortage of labour driving her wages up, and she wants the ability to unionise to drive wages up further. That is her idea of a good life. But in addition to her bigotry, Mrs Goggins has narrow horizons and no understanding of the way our economy works. She cannot see that the foreigner-free, high-wage economy for which she yearns, and for which ordinary decent people like Nigel Farrage and Nicholas Griffin also yearn is an economy which will ruin her life. It will ruin her life because it ruins Britain's competitiveness and drives people of industry and talent unknown to Mrs Goggins to invest in countries with lower wage costs.
So I say to bigots like Mrs Goggins; if you are happy to see the sun set on Britain, if you are happy to see your standard of living decline until the electric toaster is an unimaginable luxury again, if you want our global influence to collapse and our economy give £5 handjobs in supermarket car-parks, if you are happy with all of that then I am happy to send home the people who say strange words on the street, the people who eat oddly-shaped foods and pray to non-existent, violent or inferior gods, who wear tea-cosies on their heads or insist on bringing swords into the public lavatories.
You think being a bigot is a bad thing, and you think you can't be anything bad because you are an ordinary, decent person and because you are old and a bit stupid and don't come from London. That's not right. What I know is that many of you are bigoted. Many of you are a bit stupid. Many of you simply have no idea of how an economy works, or what decisions have to be taken so that you can afford Sky+ and turkey twizzlers. I am not your prime minister because I am just like you. I am your prime minister because I am nothing like you. I am not a regular kind of guy, I am special. So think carefully, before you ask me a stupid question, or offer words of ill-founded criticism from the depths of your bigotry and stupidity. Think carefully. Do you want me to tell you what you are? Because I will.
I should totally be a spin doctor.