I MIGHT HAVE MENTIOned before, but I rather dislike some of the “customs” that the lower echelons of society seem to be adopting at times of distress, grief, boredom etc, but this latest craze to sweep through the grieving classes really grinds my gears.

Not content with festooning railway bridges with rotting bouquets of petrol station blooms and badly spelt graffiti (in the ubiquitous ‘bubble’ handwriting with love hearts and sad faces in place of jots and punctuation marks), the latest scourge of the grief jamboree has to be the **** CHINESE LANTERN!!!

What the hell??? Last week saw the Grief Express roll into Liverpool where hundreds of jobseekers dragged their sorry carcasses away from their sofas and The Jeremy Bloody Vyle show, and spent their giro on hundreds of these indiscriminate incendiary devices which they unleashed – willy nilly – across the north flippin west!

Now, the parents of some girl who’s possibly gone overboard from HMS Mickey bloody Mouse have mounted a similar mass litter/fire bomb attack on the country!!!!!! TO LET HER KNOW THAT THEY’RE THINKING OF HER!!!!!!!!!!!! W T F???????

HOW ABOUT THEY GROW UP and start thinking about the people whose houses could burn down, or the owners of the livestock (and I’ve seen plenty of these) that end up crippled by the tangled wreckage of these wire contraptions that inevitably fall from the sky?????

The moment I hear about another of these tasteless, undignified and downright dangerous outpourings of mass hysteria, I plan to report it to the Police that an organised effort to distribute litter and endanger life is about to take place.

Makes my piss boil so it does.

I’m getting a small vibe you’re not a fan?

Pretty

Liverpool you say?

Haven’t you got a toner cartridge that needs replacing?

Goes out to buy some chinese lanterns.

6/10, should have got your butler to write it.

Live and let live I say.

Can’t be too long before they are banned?

I’ll give 50p and a biscuit to the first person who gets a tattoo of a chinese lantern!

Unnecessary capitalisation, excellent use of cliches (Grief Express, grinds my gears etc), and multiple exclamation and question marks……a straight 10/10.

Quality rant.

0.5……………..

9/10. Excellent rant.

The Flowers make for good postcode Gang boundary identification or for identifying road accident sites. I reckon there is a PhD in there somewhere if researched well enough. 😉

Yeah, really pretty. The moors round here are littered in them in places and I know a farmer that has lost several sheep that have become entangled in them.

This pretty too… He’s called “Cael” (qu’elle surprise).

Cael’s parents are now fronting a campaign to get them banned, despite THEM being the morons that allowed children to release them!

YOU DON’T NEED THEM TO BE ON A BANNED LIST TO KNOW THEY COULD EASILY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!!

But they should be banned.

I thought cael was a form of the Welsh verb “to have”

Nope, it’s Welsh for Kyle. Fact.

yup, quality rant.
however, excellent self generating business.
someone who knows somebody you once met in a pub dies in a mystery house fire. to show your support, you set off a chinese lantern. which lands and sets fire to someone’s house. you hear that someone who used to know someone you once met in the pub has died in a mysterious house fire. to show your support..

Nope, it’s an Irish name. Means “slender”.

Also, it’s “quelle surprise”, if you’re going to be snooty about other people’s lack of sophistication.

I just trying to think how a Chinese lantern could burn down someone’s house?

Also should we ban evertyhing that injures a child?

Also, it’s “quelle surprise”, if you’re going to be snooty about other people’s lack of sophistication.

I don’t think it was their lack of sophistication he was being snooty about. 😆

Have they started house fires??

Well Drac, if you were one of the three little pigs, living in a house made of straw, you wouldnt be so flippant would you?

I MIGHT HAVE MENTIOned before, but I rather dislike some of the “customs” that the lower echelons of society seem to be adopting at times of distress, grief, boredom etc, but this latest craze to sweep through the grieving classes really grinds my gears.

Could you explain who you are referring to when you say ‘lower echelons of society’? Are you referring to Chinese people?

Fire caused by Chinese lantern

And another…

Well Drac, if you were one of the three little pigs, living in a house made of straw, you wouldnt be so flippant would you?

I’d move it my brother’s brick house.

McHamish – Member

Could you explain who you are referring to when you say ‘lower echelons of society’? Are you referring to Chinese people?

No, I meant poor people.

Crikey! That time it was a childs face!

(Apologises, but someone had to say it)

Drac – Moderator

I just trying to think how a Chinese lantern could burn down someone’s house?

it’s a flame drifting through the sky. if it lands on something flammable, it will pose a good risk iof setting that something on fire. I know you;re a moderator and have to present a moderate view and everything, but sheesh, that doesn;t mean taking the opposite view to the OP…

it’s a flame drifting through the sky. if it lands on something flammable, it will pose a good risk iof setting that something on fire

So not bricks, tiles and mortar then?

It could if your unlucky set you shed on fire or some trees near to your house I suppose.

Let’s all stand up-wind of Drac’s house and give a practical demonstration… 😉

10/10 for the OP

We live in a wooden house, halfway up a hill in a village that’s 40% holiday homes. I live in fear of the warmer months when every bloody tourist staying here thinks that their holiday is somehow incomplete without festooning the locals gardens with the, crappily launched, burning remnants of such things. 😥

Maybe we need some sort of an education programme, combined with windsocks…

Windsock pointing out to sea = Have a go and maybe one of the seven lanterns you try launching might even get higher than 12 feet off the frickin’ ground.

Windsock pointing inland = Try launching even one of those things and I’ll shove it up yer arse and ram it all the way home with my broken Tesco track pump ! 👿

Ahhh, the joys of living in a place where everyone else wants to go on holiday.

Shibboleth – do you have anything on which to base your assertion that it is ‘the lower echelons of society’ that use these things? I’ll be honest here and say I have no interest or opinions on chinese lanterns whatsoever, but I find your views on the class system interesting, to say the least.

There are several thatched properties in my village, there’s also quite a lot of decking, flat roofs steeped in pitch…

I’m no rocket scientist, but I can see no good will come of drifting naked flames onto these areas…

it’s a flame drifting through the sky. if it lands on something flammable, it will pose a good risk iof setting that something on fire.

Yeah, just remember, people in glass houses and all that

Somethings for Slugwash to consider

What we need to do is breed GM fireproof sheep. It’ll also be a boon to the knitwear industry.

barnsleymitch – Member

Shibboleth – do you have anything on which to base your assertion that it is ‘the lower echelons of society’ that use these things?

I’ve not carried out in-depth statistical research Mitch, suffice to say, the people interviewed on Look North West seemed to be of the less educated, lower income or benefit-claiming quarters of our society.

Somethings for Slugwash to consider

😀

And, actually, I’m downgrading my score for the OP to 7/10.

You’ve got to be pretty damn affluent to rent a holiday cottage in our neck of the woods.

Chinese Lantern misdemeanors know no class barriers.