28 Lines to make you smile.
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>>
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>>>>> 1.. My wife and I divorced over religious differences.. She thought
>>>>> she was God and I didn't..
>>>>> 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
>>>>> 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
>>>>> 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
>>>>> 5..Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
>>>>>
>>>>> 6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
>>>>> 7… Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
>>>>> 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
>>>>> 9.. I'm not a complete idiot — Some parts are missing.
>>>>> 10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
>>>>> 11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
>>>>> medicine.
>>>>> 12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
>>>>> 13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
>>>>> 14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
>>>>> 15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
>>>>> 16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
>>>>> 17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
>>>>> 18 . Procrastinate Now!
>>>>> 19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
>>>>> 20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>>>>> 21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
>>>>> 22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
>>>>> 23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>>>>> 24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
>>>>>
>>>>> 25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
>>>>> thousand times the memory.
>>>>>
>>>>> 26..Ham and eggs…A day's work for a chicken,a lifetime commitment
>>>>> for a pig.
>>>>> 27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
>>>>>
>>>>> 28.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
>>>>> Life is too short and friends are too few!