Ladies and Gentlemen and gathered members of the academy. After great deliberation, decision, retraction and counter-retraction we finally concluded the naming of our first born son. We worked through our shortlist and considered the opinions herewith and elsewhere. We thought long and hard about some of the late submissions and without further ado I announce his name is:
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Joe Henry Schofield
Thanks to one and all. Jude was narrowly beaten into second place. Leo and Frank were down there with Kojak, Jupiter and Evilzone (but I still love Frank).
He’d better bloody like it now. Gotta go – he’s off again and I’m on shift.
