Singletrack Mountain Bike Magazine

Is it shoes, parade shoes...

Parade shoes? Only the virtuous ladies of the WRAC wore shoes when I was in the mob. I don't know, the youth of today etc... etc..

Do not use Parade Gloss. It leaves a fatty residue on the toe caps that makes them look smudged. Use normal Kiwi black and then have at it with the cotton wool (damp) in small circles using the "fingers of fire" method.

When it starts looking like glass, walk them (carefully) to the kitchen sink and run the cold tap over the toecaps whilst ever so gently bulling. This will get of th last of any residue, but you have to blow dry th water off to make sure there are no marks.

By the way, make sure the bots are worn in first, or the polish will just flake off when they walk. Unless the boots have been beeswaxed first, in which case, they will get blisters if they actually try to use them for walking.

Use a tiny amount of polish on a slightly damp piece of cotton wool. Small circles for hours and hours. (It is theraputic in a meditative kind of way)

There are no long lasting shortcuts, just hard work to get good results.

Unfortunately my naval career didnt last long enough for me to have a spotty oik to do them for me.

i used to bull mine up with different layers of black polish and dark tan and use many layers one after the other and as a final layer once almost happy a layer of ox blood (as above small circles i found a cloth as good as cotton wool but i used to do the first few layers under a running cold tap)

lol oddly the ox blood is a polish (looks a very pink colour when you open it btw rather than what you would imagine it to look like) i used to get it from proper cobblers as it was hard to get. this method was good enough for hrh guard inspections i also had the best shoes on my fire brigade training course when i left the forces (got me out of some crap that did lol)

now, this ironing of shirts lark

For immaculate collars (this worked especially well with the old army 'hair' shirts) always iron from the collar tips inwards.

For creases in army jumpers, press once on the outside of the sleeve with the iron on high steam. Turn jumper inside out and run a damp bar of soap up the crease on each sleeve. Turn jumper right way out and iron the creases again, first with steam and then dry.

This also works on shirt sleeves and trousers - but don't put a crease in combats, as a razor sharp crease can be spotted by an enemy sniper from 1000 metres (probably).

For the shoulder and elbow pads on the jumper, use starch, but apply it in thin layers as you iron. Also use a handkerchief over the top of the pads to stop the starch going white. If the starch does go white then just wipe with a damp cloth.

Correct shaping of the beret is also very important, as you look like Fred Scuttle if you don't bother. Alternately dip said beret into hot and cold water to shrink it, then mould it to the head and leave it there to dry. It should then retain the shape, even when you take it off!

It all sounds a bit OCD, I know. However, the phrase bullsh*t baffles brains really is true of the armed forces!

When I was 'loaned' to the TA, the cadets who shared the centre were always immaculately turned out - unlike their instructors, who we had to have 'words' with on more than one occasion!

crikey this brings it back.

Parade gloss, cotton wool, tiny circles and SPIT.
the enzymes in spit work on the parade gloss, iirc.
easy to do infront of the telly of an evening,

if you reeeally bothered about a proper shine, youll need two pairs of boots for them.

shiney boots get stamped on, and are as good as back to square one if they get in the filth.

get a shiney pair for shiney days.
and a pair more like walking boots for muddy days.

Spent many a lost evening with parade gloss and small bits of cotton wool on a newspaper laden dining table trying to get a decent mirror finish on my RAF Shoes from Silvermans. Never managed to get them as good as the guys who purloined a can of Tornado Nosecone paint from Conningsby when we re there on Summer Camp. They must have lucked in while I was servicing Tornados on the apron or checking the best before dates on a hercfull of NBC suits (it was Gulf War era).

Boots were British Army 10 hole DMS and I;ve still got them now. Amazing boots and only required a basic brushing with kiwi black to keep them waterproof and matt. Noone wants shiny boots on exercise. Hell we even had blackened cap badges for such occasions.

<created new reminiscing post about ATC to save polluting this thread>

Good thick coating of polish on the toe caps.
1 can of lynx
1 lighter
few quick blasts.