[Closed] Suicide............know anyone??

Unfortunately yes.

2 people. 2 too many

yes , the 15 year old lad next door a couple of months ago. tragic waste of life.

unfortunately yes. a real nice bloke he was too. rip my friend.

yes 2 sadly
both suffered from depression but hid it well

A guy who works/ worked with my partner got made redundant two weeks ago, his wife got in their car parked it up down a quiet lane and set fire to herself. Can't imagine its the best way to go

Unfortunately yes as well.

know a few all lived in a small town in Northumberland..... At least 3 in last few years men aged between 24-30 ish

yes. young lad I worked with, lost track of, then met up with about three years later - he was a bit of a toker at that stage. Went riding with him, we had a good laugh. During the next winter he was living on a building site 'night watchman'... sometime that winter he took a long drive onto dartmoor, drank and pilled himself to sleep. I'll always wonder if it was deliberate... I think about him sometimes, he was a young idiot 🙂 but I'd never guess him for a suicide

Yes, my daughter, 3 years ago she attempted it.

A mates brother when I was at school all over his girlfriend leaving him.

luckily no, hoping it stays that way.

yes

it was absolutely horrifying to have found out what had happened

An RAF lad i worked with a few years ago hung himself, he seemed to have everything going well for him at the time. He had his brothers watch on when they found him, he had also took his own life 3 or 4 years previously. His funeral was very tough, i haven't thought about it for a while. His parents must be in agony every single day. My wifes cousin also took her own life just before we got together.

I have no idea how low people must feel to get to this stage, but it is always a terrible waste.

Sadly yes. 3 people one who was a very good family friend.

Yes. Just a few weks ago a senior officer at work didn't turn up for his evening duty on my wing, no radio response, keys weren't in the key safe, so he had to be in the establishment. The PO found him in an office. No inclination by anyone that he was in that state of mind. Good bloke as well, respected by staff & inmates alike. Still no idea why.
Tragic.

When i worked at a large Psychiatric hospital,one young lad threatened all day,then when i went to get help,he slashed his wrists in the toilet,thankfully he recovered.

Female nures,excellent lovely person, killed herself.

Another patient and also a freind,drown in the canal.

So sad and such a loss,

So very sad for all who have lost freinds or family

Three - my school friend's dad (gassed himself in his car), a friend that was in the year below me at school (threw himself in front of a lorry), and my ex's best friend (threw himself off a building).

My school friend was tragic, but not a great surprise - he'd started smoking weed and taking all manner of mind bending drugs from the age of 14, by the time he was 18 he was diagnosed schizophrenic. He'd been let out of hospital three days before he killed himself, even though he said he would. :/

The other two were a complete shock.

Aye 17 years ago , one of my best mates (26)got ****ed up with smack and eventually got caught in a car bringing it into the village from Glasgow. The guy driving the car turned Queen's evidence and my mate took a bottle of whisky and a hose pipe and went and sat in his dad's motor , right outside his parents house. As you can imagine it wasn't pretty.
Another distant friend (30)got all mixed up with a slapper , fell in love and couldn't take it when she started spreading them here there and everywhere , he hanged himself in the local forest. One of my wee sister's ex boyfriends (27)also hung himself in the same forest.
Very disturbing , especially the 1st one , the reason I ****in hate junkies to this day.

I actually feel suicidal right now coz of that X-factor pish messing with my head. aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!

da funk

A friend of mine was a good rugby player who had knee problems and was unable to play any more. Good looking big strong lad, jovial and outgoing, he usually came around each time with a different attractive girlfriend.

Finally ended it when the depression of not being able to play rugby got to him. 🙁

Yes, my brother in law.

Yes.

Horrible experience for all involved.

it seems very hard to understand when it is a young fit person, who might seem to have a lot going for them.
very sad indeed.
just sat listening to the associates. billy mckenzie ended his life early..total waste.

Someone I knew very well told his brother he was going to 'top himself', that same night he went missing.
Luckily a farmer found him in the middle of his field. He'd drunk a full bottle of vodka and taken at least 6 paracetamol. The quick thinking farmer saw the remains and quickly got him into hospital and saved his life.
He'll always suffer from liver problems and had to have some mental health issues sorted.
Paracetamol takes ages to work as a way to overdose and if you ever change your mind in the hours and in some cases days, it can be too late.

People don't realise the devastation this causes to families and loved ones

It's worth noting that it is the family and friends of the victim in the wake of such a catastrophic event that are destroyed. It is these people that have to carry on. Suicide can never be anticipated as its so final and such a taboo act. I feel its almost a betrayal to life itself. You can never predict it.

It is also one of the most selfish acts known to man. I also never want to feel the desperation and isolation that these people may find themselves in.

Just my thoughts.

esselgruntfuttock do you work at Wetherby?

Hmmm, I've been thinking about it for a looong while now, but from reading everyone's experiences on here it seems it's quite hard on those that are left behind.

Shame really as life's a total bedpan - wish everyone would see why I'm 'up for it'.

unfortunatly a friend. his parents were away and the neighbours needed the car moving it was a powerfull race type he bumped it on most of the other cars in the street only small dings. anyway knocked on everyones door apologised then said he wanted to be alone, he ended up hanging himself. this was just before christmas a few years ago. i think the car must have been the catalyst but he always seemed fine.

bananaworld - if you're serious, please go and get some help.

my sisters best friend. History of mental illness, in and out of institutions. Her parents came home one day to find her in the bath with an electric toaster.

Also probably not a great way to go but equally, it shows it wasn't a cry for help as I suspect some pills and booze types are.

Bananaworld,and for those of us on here that read the posts,if you feel so bad and sad,choose one of us and just put your feelings down on the keyboard,a problem shared is a problem halved.

As for life being a bed pan,thats how life goes,learning to cope and live and possibly alter it is what takes time.

I see a lot of suicide attempts in ITU, from gunshots, overdoses, trauma and so on.

The one thing that the relatives and friends feel is immense guilt; they all feel that if only they had done x or y, or not said c or said b that things would be different.

It's really difficult to understand the mind set of someone who really sees no other way out, who is actually that desperate that ending their life is the best option.

[b]Bananaworld, you've expressed your feelings before; [u]please[/u] go and talk to some one about it fella, it's not really an answer and it leaves a massive amount of shit behind.[/b]

In my line of work, I see it far too often. Bananaworld, please, please say your just trying to get a reaction - if that's not the case, I hope to god you've got someone to talk this over with - life's too f***ing short mate.

My best mate (best man at my wedding too) killed himself last year. Knew he had some personal and business problems, had invited him to stay for a few days on the Weds night and he seemed up for it (we were going to go for a few beers and put the world to rights) the on Friday his gf called me to say he'd killed himself. Lots of backround to it thats a bit long winded, suffice to say I think the suspicion his gf and business partner was playing around was the tipping point 😥
Still ask myself if there was something I could have done differently, tears me up when I think about it.

2 people as well.
A family friend hung himself and someone I grew up with recently went missing. He was found three days late after taking a cocktail of pills and drink.
I've also stopped a close friend from taking their life. He called me out of desperation and i'm glad he did as he's now turned his life around.
bananaworld - you seriously need to talk to someone, you're a long time gone.

Bananaworld,and for those of us on here that read the posts,if you feel so bad and sad,choose one of us and just put your feelings down on the keyboard,a problem shared is a problem halved.

yup, add me to that mailing list...there are people out there who care, even if you don't know them yet

bananaworld, email me mate, anytime for a chat or to go for a ride.

A cousin, in his late teens, hung himself several years ago. No drink or drugs involved AFAIK, but I think an undiagnosed/untreated psychiatric condition.

It is also one of the most selfish acts known to man.

Perhaps.

Perhaps just as selfish to assume that people should just 'sort themselves out' or stay alive suffering indeterminable torment just for the sake of those around them?

I would hate to see an animal suffer and think we should be more pragmatic and humane when it comes to humans.

my mum and one of her sisters (7 sisters in total) found their 'baby' sister hanging from the banister just over a year ago.

they got a call from debbie's fella asking if they could go and check as there was no answer. they entered the house and saw their sister, framed in a doorway, hanging by her neck.

god knows how my mum is still able to smile. it's an image that is sure to stay with her till the day she dies.

debbie had previously attempted to O.D. but again my mum found her in time. she was taken to hospital. the doctor asked her if upon recieving a new batch of pills, whether she would take them all at once again. she answered no and therefore the doctor said she was of a sound state of mind. if she had recieved physchiatric help she may well still be here, but it is not worth pointing fingers.

upon hearing of the news (i don't live near mum) i was pretty cut up. but, then a friend told me i should respect her decision. sort of made sense.

bananaworld its a funny thing mate.i had your state of mind for around four years but just could not do it to my mother.
i didnt get any help as i understood why i felt that way(bad health) and i allways felt that getting help would have dug me deeper.you just have to rebuild the way you look at life i reckon.start by choosing friends that are happy and in control of their lives.
not saying you should not get help i am just saying that you can do it yourself aswell.
allso i get fed up of folks that dont think its a rational thought its a perfectly rational thought to have if your life is in a state.
best of luck man.go ride your bike.

I am very lucky not to know anyone, but it tears me up thinking how bad some people must feel to consider it as an option.

Please feel free to mail me...anyone

A good friend from university killed himself last year. It would have been his 24th Birthday today. He was a nice guy, liked by all, but always known as 'crazy Paul'. He had a few issues not helped by trying every drug under the sun.

Seeing the pain his family are in today is horrible.

no but had to clean up after some one jumped down a stairwell in a tall building and I am only a carpet fitter never expected to deal with that when i went in to work that day was over 20 years ago and i still think about how desperate he must have been .

I guess you just never know whats going on in people's heads.

I have attempted suicide twice (and overdosed purely as cries for help on a few other occasions) but both times I chose pills because I was frightened of the finality of a method like hanging. I didn't really want to die 100% but my frame of mind was such that if I had been told I was going to die (as a result of overdose) I wouldn't have minded all that much.
I don't actually know anyone who has committed suicide but I'm sure it will be emotionally 'interesting' if/when someone does.

My aunt had a very long history of mental illness & finally she could take things no more & age 50 she killed herself.

About 10 years ago a work colleague & friend couldn't cope with the break up of a relationship on top of other issues he had from things he saw in the army in Northern Ireland. He had one attempt but stepping out in front of a motorbike was unsuccessful, sadly the second attempt using a car, hose pipe & bottle on Vodka was 🙁

Both left family & friends asking questions about why they did it & could they have done something to help/prevent it.

My best mate attempted it once but it was more like a cry for help & was a hard lesson learned. We have always kept in touch & even now he's 12,000 miles away we are there for each other if needed.

I am gob smacked by how many people know friends who have killed themselves.

Luckily, the trend has been downwards recently.

[img] [/img]

"Amongst people under 35, more people die from suicide than in road traffic accidents."

Didn't think I'd be reading a thread that would bring me to tears tonight 🙁

3

2 friends, both ex armed forces. One hung the other OD.

1 Friends brother OD

As hard as it maybe for someone to take their own life it's even harder on those that spend the rest of their lives living with it.

There is always an alternative!

add me to that mailing list

Bloody vultures 😉

As awful as the accounts in this thread are, it's certainly heartening to hear from you peeps - so, y'know, thanks, especially as I'm a total stranger.

I think it's important to consider that there are people around who simply don't want to be alive - no one chose to be born, after all. I wonder how different the world would be if suicide was more acceptable and people didn't have to do it clandestinely - thye could just put their affairs in order and explain briefly to their family that they don't want to be alive any more.

Or is that a selfish attitude to things?

(Some people hate misused/missing apostrophes, some people hate common misspellings, some hate fools who muddle up they're theres & theirs. All these things make me twitch... along with mixing up "hung" and "hanged"...)

miaowing_kat - how's things now?

Bananaworld- Life is[s] can be the bedpan you describe. Talk to some-one, any-one, a professional, a friend, a stranger, any-one. Go for a ride, listen to something uplifting. There is plenty of hope out there you just got to find your bit. I talk from experience.

I still think of my friend, even though it was quite a few years ago. What could we have done? etc. Every time I see his sister (who found him) it breaks my heart to think of her and the families pain, it was/is bad enough for those of us that were his friends. God alone knows what that family has gone through.

Same as others have offered e-mail me if you want.

i do not think it is selfish.
i think if a person of sound mind wants to end their life, then it is up to them to do so.
i do find it sad if the person is fit and well,but like someone said earlier, we do not know what is going on in their mind.

My Dad works freelance for various orchestras - he was on tour with the London Phil in South America years ago when one of the guys slit his wrists in the hotel bath. Caused one hell of a mess apparently and the rest of the (understandably traumatised) people in the orchestra had to deal with getting his body flown home, telling his wife etc.

A chemistry student a year or 2 below me at Cardiff Uni killed himself by taking 96 Pro-Plus.

It was only the thought of the people I was leaving behind that stopped me going through with it a few years back. I wish I'd talked to someone sooner, but your mind doesn't work logically when you're as low as you can get.
Since then I've had a lot of support from family and friends, as well as professional counselling, and I think it's done me a world of good. I still have my dark moments, but now I know the signs, and can talk about it before it gets too bad.

Banana world so just what is are your problems then,if they are to personal email any one of us who have offered to listen,we dont have to listen or show any interest,but we will and do,for you or anyone else,thats why us cyclists stick together,probably either one of us has heard of someone wioth similar problems or either experienced it ourselves.

From experience, depression comes from
Relationship issues,
work,
money,
death of a loved one,
sexuality problems,

fc, email me anytime love..

Hey Bannaworld Please talk to me you know who I am. I'm having issues myself at the moment and have sought professional help. It sounds like you may need to do the same.

I don't know anyone who topped themselves but kind of know of a couple.

1 drove his car into my FiL's lorry to top himself. He succeeded in killing himself and ruining my FiL's legs too, putting him on long term sick, early retirement from a job he loved.

Another one was married to my mates girlfriend (before my mate met her). He topped himself and left his wife and kid with no dad.

According to those individuals mentioned above, those who kill themselves are selfish tw4ts who had no thought for the mess they leave behind.

Just remember, every day, that tomorrow could be the best day of your life...

jim29 - a wonderful outlook on life! Well put.

In my line f work I have dealt with an astounding number of suicides from young (13 year old female) to the old. Many people do it accidentally as a distant cry for help believing they will be found before the OD becomes fatal, many are pre determined that it will be their exit strategy from life and I have forecast one in particular (the wifes best friend). Very very sad for lall those left behind and the most selfish act anyone can do in my opinion.
To those who are feeling/having suicidal thoughts YOU MUST SEEK HELP, and part of the recovery p[rocess is accepting you have a mental illness and that you need help to overcome it. Every one has some worth even if you cant see it at the moment, you just need help finding it.
There will always be those that are unwilling or to proud/stubborn/selfish to accept help and they are the ones that carry through their acts.
I had a very close work mate who was too proud to mention a real minor debt and problem that caused the debt, it would have been sorted as soon as he told us however he selfisly went and put a twelve bore in his mouth and removed his brain leaving behind two traumatised sons and a wife. Brave or determined, for someone that had been shot by a sniper and had half his flak jacket pushed out his back it just said to me that he wanted to punish himself-who did he really punish?.......

yer good friend of mine topped himself. life and soul of the party and a topp bloke. never saw it coming, but he was in a pretty bad way. its a weird thing to think he would rather be dead than carry on. its coming up for 10 years now and i still miss him. i have been told its common in young me between 19 and 28? where do they get these numbers from?

joe

Stats mate from the coroners around the country I would imagine.

The company I first worked for had 2 partners running it. Both around 50 and very successful. One of them had a wonderful wife, 2 great kids and the practice was doing really well.

He threw himself under a train totally out of the blue.

My secretary's husband has clinical depression. Everyday is an ordeal for him. Prior to his depression he was one of the best wagon body builders in the country, a real perfectionist. Now he cant even try to do the ironing, because if he cant get a crease out it make him feel worthless. He has even planned his own death in intricate detail. Only his wife keeps him going, but he is in such a dark place that I can not even begin to think how he feels.

Banana... email in profile mate. Anytime you need a stranger to chat to, or to go on a ride with hit me up...

1 person too many, he was ill for a while but was shocked to find out what had happened.

I did find one person a few years back when i was duty manager in a JS store, was closing down the store at the night checked the customer loo's and saw legs and feet hanging as i went in, worse experience ive ever had, when im on late at work i send security to check these area's before i hand over to nights now!

Yes.

I know folk who have taken OD's on more than one occasion, luckily they are still here today and on the mend hopefully.
I know ( or used to know ) people who have committed suicide.
I also deal with going such incidents as part of my work, both suicides and attempted suicides, and those that have died through activities not necessarily set out as suicide ( accidental OD's etc )

There is no doubt that where the person may have been successful in killing themselves, it leaves an awfully big wake of issues and problems afterwards. And for those that are left behind, it creates more problems than the death solved.

Yes. A good friend. I wish he felt he could have talked about it.

Bloody vultures 😉

seriously any one of you, drop me a mail. You don't know me and i don't know you...but it might make you feel better

A school mate threw himself in front of a truck over a girl.

A family friend hung himself

A mate was always taking od's as cries for help never enough to kill herself although that's what she claimed to be trying,one day it all caught up with her just as she appeared to be getting her life sorted.

Before I met her the mother inlaw attempted it several times again cries for help, which led to her family being broken up and social services involved.

Sister inlaw also attempted it on many occasions, and although the coronor put her death down as misadventure, most of the family claimed it was suicide, I am still adament it was something more sinister.

I have been very very close on a couple of occasions in the last few years.

I am bi-polar and seem to lapse into very acute deep depressions which seem to come from nowhere although I suspect that chronic work related stress may very possibly a trigger. It is always the anxiety that accompanies the depression that drives me to the brink, although I am not much better in my manic phases and am equally at risk of self harm during those phases.

I don't really think that I really want to die - but during these phases my brain just isn't working right and I would be willing to do anything to stop the pain and the only solution seems to be to end it once and for all. In such periods the drugs seem to be as much of a problem as they do a cure and talking it through either with friends or professionals isn't really of any help.

I am certain in the knowledge that knowing how much pain it would cause my elderly father is what has perhaps prevented my from taking any action before.

In the end I decided that I couldn't go through the wild mood swings any longer and decided to take the professionals advice and have been taking a mood stabilizer for the last 6 months.

Been in that space a couple of times.

it has been really pretty touch a couple of specific occaisions, arcing coincidences and daemons whispering the last. if i hadn't actively sought out a friend on that specific day i really don't think i'd be here.

If there was an 'off' button you could push, then i would have pushed it.

if i was being honest what has stopped me has been the thought of it going wrong. I mean just how many oxycodone pills do you need. they are evil shit, i checked. plus i do not relish the thought of being 'stoned' on the way out. **** that.

strictly back on topic though i knew a guy who hung himself. he went somewhere out of the way so his (young) kids wouldn't find him. and a siblings partners brother sucked an exhaust pipe.

I do think that if everyone could suffer depression for a week as a sort of psychological work experience, there'd be a lot more compassion / understanding of depression / suicide and a lot less of it. Depression is absolutely soul destroying and if you've had it, you can easily see why people kill themselves - it's a pretty rational thing to do under the circumstances. Three key characteristics are total despair, feelings of worthlessness (hence no one will believe me and I'd just be wasting the GP's time) and shame (hence keep it to yourself). It was singularly the most unpleasant and terrifying experience of my life and I only had it briefly....

Yeh, my godmother. Don't really remember her, but she lived with us for a while when I was a child. Remember being told she had gone missing, a few months later she was found in a river.

More recently, my gf's Mums neighbour killed himself. He was mentally ill but must be hard for his elderly Mum who he lived with.

Did have a bit of an eye opener a few years back...I visited a customer to fix his phone line, turned up and the house and garden was falling to bits, shame as it was a big house on a corner plot with big gardens. After being let inside by this elderly bloke it was like going back in time, the place hadn't been touched in about 40 years. He still had a hardwired telephone with the fabric covered cord, no socket, only time I've ever seen one in seven years at BT. Anyway, he had books propping up his sofa and stacked up the walls, pottery figurines everywhere, piles and piles of newspapers, dark curtains over all the windows. He even had to let me in and out all the time as he'd adapted the door to make it near on impossible to open.

Whilst I was there he was telling me how his wife had committed suicide years back when he was younger, all the details, obviously eaten away at him ever since to the point he had turned into a hermit and never left the house. He said it had torn his family apart as his kids blamed him for her suicide and had disowned him. Sympathised with him etc...wasn't really sure whether to believe the guy to be honest. It wasn't til I'd finished and was leaving, that he took me across the room and made me read his wife's suicide note, written on a bit of note paper. He'd framed it and given it pride of place in the living room.

Spent pretty much all of his adult life alone and dwelling over it 🙁

A few of my former school mates topped themselves all in the space of a month of so a few years back. All in the same place too.

Somebody I worked with hung himself in his garage just over a year ago. Parents found him in the morning 😐

I didn't know him all that closely, but many of his friends were very cut up for a while.

Thought I would catch up with an old college mate from way back(20 years),phoned his mum and dad and found out he had taken his life 6 years previous.Everyone has good friends who they drift apart from(he lived at the other end of the country),but what surprised me was the shock I felt about his loss.I visited his elderly parents,both of whom were always blind,and it struck me how much his passing meant even to me.We spoke at length about his life,and it seemed that he was a larger than life friend to many.A fantastic bloke with all the time in the world for others.His folks soldier on,living with this memory every day.
Kenny my friend,long may folk remember your legacy.
I guess it's my way of saying,before you commit to the ultimate act,seek help and support,most of us are surrounded by people who can and will help!!!

As a policeman I’ve dealt with countless suicides over the years. It is an extremely complicated phenomenon.

People sometimes have a very strong desire to end their lives, due to depression or a belief the future seems beyond hope and reason. Others may have other ideas. They see suicide as the only option to an intolerable situation, although they would not choose to die if they could find another way out. I’m no expert but I think certain people are genetically pre-disposed towards it. I’ve know it to run in families so I believe there are physiological reasons, chemical imbalances in the brain etc.

I remember what a police negotiator said amongst other things to some poor bugger that was contemplating throwing themselves over a bridge - “You’re considering a permanent solution to a temporary problem”, which I thought seemed to make sense.

I think we all tread a thin line in this life between everything being hunky-dory and utter desperation. Who knows what anyone of us would do given a sudden and horrific change in circumstances, i.e. the loss of a partner or child or onset of mental illness?

Man, this is terrible, how many people know more than one person who has committed suicide, I know far too many.

Brother in laws Dad had a heart a few years ago, his mum could not cope, so she took her life the next Christmas, left my brother in law in bits, with serious mental health issues, even came close to suicide himself, now his two young kids are asking where there grandparents are.

It is always the people who are left behind who suffer.

More recently, my auntie went in for a simple procedure, tragically a mistake was made and she had two massive heart attacks and died, the postmortem revealed that her heart was fine, the guy responsible realised his mistake and toppped him self, leaving a young family behind. This has destroyed my uncles life.

On one hand I do believe that life is a gift, but my wife has worked in a mental health hospital I understand there are states of mind where this is the only way out. She knows a few patients where it has gone wrong and they are left as cripples. I just hope I am never there myself.

Death is never nice, but it comes to us all. I just don't think we can say when.