Brilliant post!
http://surlybikes.com/blog/some_answers_to_just_about_any_bike_forum_post_ive_ever_read/

Some favourites:
No bike does everything perfectly. In fact, no bike does anything until someone gets on it to ride

Your bikeshop is not trying to screw you. They’re trying to stay open.

A pristine bike free of dirt, scratches, and wear marks makes me sort of sad.

Wheelies are the best trick ever invented. That’s just a fact.

Hell yes!

Lots of people worked their asses off to build whatever you’re riding on. You should thank them.

And again, hell yes!

I’m going to reply to the next 100 posts with this

Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.

Someone should put it to the music from the baz Luhrman “Sunscreen” tune.

I like this one:

The more you ride your bike, the less your ass will hurt.