[Closed] The Next Channel 4 "Reality" documentary?

"benefits" - a cutting edge documentary following the under-class of the UK as they cheat the benefit system to "earn" the maximum each "payday", we follow 4 families as they apply, collect and spend their hard earn't money on drugs, drink and i-phones.

"Nick-Nack Paddy's Smack"

Patrick (21) is a long term Heroin user. In this four part series we take away Patrick's heroin and methodone and our cameras follow him through the highs, but mainly lows, as he tries desperately to hold his world together.

Didn't they do that one already, Phil?!

"Could Get A Car For that"

Our investigators follow the secretive world of mountain biking where men and women buy tiny bits of metal for huge sums of money and hide them from their partners. 'Tommy' is typical of the cult and spends most of his time at home on internet forums talking about bikes rather than riding them. Tommy has run up a £20k debt buying bikes that never come out of the shed and has a chronic addiction to carrot cake and niche whiskeys

'the fickle world of the Chelsea supporter'...

I'd like to see people who provide appalling customer service explaining why they are so bad face to face with annoyed, frustrated and upset clients.

I'd call the program [b]THE CHAIR[/b] and would like to volunteer for the episode that features BT.

[img] [/img]

"TandemJeremy's Cold Turkey", in which the subject goes through the torment and trials of coming to terms with not being Scottish, as well as not being able to be right about everything online.

😈

(I know he's reading.... 😉 Need to prompt him to come back....)

Leave him alone eh... you've had your fun.

I was once , kinda vaguely , a celebrity of some kind , try to figure out who the **** I am .

"Could Get A Car For that"

Our investigators follow the secretive world of mountain biking where men and women buy tiny bits of metal for huge sums of money and hide them from their partners. 'Tommy' is typical of the cult and spends most of his time at home on internet forums talking about bikes rather than riding them. Tommy has run up a £20k debt buying bikes that never come out of the shed and has a chronic addiction to carrot cake and niche whiskeys

Superb 😉

try to figure out who the **** I am

How about [b]"I'd do owt to be on telly me!"[/b] ?

Give Kerry Katona and vairous other 0/10s a set of bolt cutters and a video camera. They get 5 minutes of prime time telly exposure for every bit they cut off their own bodies.

FFS CPT give over you are just making yerself look like a male hen - you really are pleased about being seen drive someone off a forum - if that has indeed happened. Why oh why would anyone be pleased about this oh look my "victim" is upset how good and clever are we and now lets have some jokes at their expense really poor example of human behaviour and compassion

[i]"Could Get A Car For that"[/i]

Oh yeah - could definitely be a series!
Episode 2) Features Mr Nomusictaste desperately trying to justify spending £10000 on a hi-fi to listen to Pink Floyd in his 8x10 living roomed flat. "It sounds so much better than an iPod!" "Pardon? Oh, no of course I can't take it on the train."

you really are pleased

Am I? How would you know? Actually, I'm not. I'd far rather see him here, to be honest, even if he was an insufferable prig at times.

Oh shut up! take it to a different thread Junkyard. Hang on I'll bump one for you

Reverse Extreme Makeover

very clever j-me

"who's the daddy?"

Follow Tina in her search to identify which of the seventeen different boyfriends she had during a two week period in 2008 is responsible for impregnating her, and will subsequently be served with a CSA assessment form...

The secret life of a singletrack forum writer,

We watch as forum writers ignore their work to type meaninful words for others to digest.

Confessions of a mountain biker,26 parts,

101 things to do with a bike thief,may contain gratuitous violence, swearing, and nuts.

Tandem Jeremy , where is he now,

Extereme makeover, watch as various men try simple DIY tasks while asking for step by step instructions on a bike forum,

Single track doctor, watch as various non medically trained staff try to diagnose a serious medical condition using google on a bike forum,

Ten Dam Jeremys

A topical chat show with ten guests on the panel, [s]arguing[/s]discussing a diverse range of topics including, "The work ethic of Mexicans", "Spoonerisms on the BBC", "Rugby Union aren't Bath & England Great" and "Cycing Helmets, the facts".

Guests include, Jeremy Clarckson, Jeremy Guscott, Jeremy Irons, Jeremy Hunt

<edit> No offence meant for TJ.....I don't condone any of the behaviour certain forum members exhibited. I hope if he's reading he sees the funny side of this post </edit>

*Waits for junkyard to lay in to Project and j_me in the same way*

*Feels sure it'll be a long wait*

[i]very clever j-me[/i]

Ditto!

'Fixie My Life?'

Our cameras follow Ty, a young media student living Blackheath in London, as he attempts to ingratiate his life into the secretive and aloof fixed-wheel bike culture that dominates the lives of countless 18-35 year old trend setters in East London. Watch in stunned silence as he attempts to befriend Elsbeth, a tattooed twenty-something preserve maker and sometime cardigan knitter, using a set of Miche crank-arms and a Hello Kitty limited edition cake whisk. Feel his pain and desperation as he calls his parents in Andover and asks for an increase in his allowance because his Dia-Compe brakes were stolen and he's spent all his wages on gingerbread lattes, cranberry beer and the latest edition of Rouleur magazine. Smile as he triumphs against his nemesis Salvadore in their ongoing row over the efficacy of Mac software over Windows...

Bullheart - GENIUS!

Giggling out loud in the office! 😆

a male hen

I'm here all week. Try the salmon.
😉

bullheart, i've enjoyed your contribution to this thread, have a lolcat
[img] [/img]

CaptainFlashheart - Member
*Waits for junkyard to lay in to Project and j_me in the same way*

*Feels sure it'll be a long wait*

If you cannot see the difference between their comments- which made only a reference to his name and lighthearted play on the name Jeremy and your snidey personal dig then you are buffon

FFS you started a thread on it as well CPT

you started a thread on it as well

Indeed I did, and you have wrongly assumed that meant that I was somehow celebrating "getting him out" or something. I feel no need to comment on my own behaviour, thanks, and I'm really not sure you have any need to either.

By the way, what's a "buffon"?

Bullheart - 10/10. I'm trying not to snort with laughter, but I'm not sure I'll win.

Buffon

[img] [/img]

What about "The Picolax Effect, A Fly In The Bowl Documentary"?

I will comment on what I want thanks assuming your greatness allows it - darn I am not questioning you again there am I?
buffon is a football player but I think you can work out the typo without my help. Remember dont comment on my behaviour - you would not want to appear to be a hypocrit now would you

:yawn:

get a room you two, a quickie might help reduce the sexual tension

MAMILS Vs MAMIBOS the current state of cycling in the UK.....

get a room you two, a quickie might help reduce the sexual tension

I doubt even Channel 4 would stoop as low as to screen that.

Jeez, I go play football and Junkyard dumps all over my nice thread again. Here's another documentary idea:
"Forum Whingers" - A day in the life of someone who browses internet forums. Not to contribute anything amusing and/or useful to the threads, oh no. Just to whinge at other posters how naughty, unreasonable and unthinking they are about everyone else's feelings.

(Cancelled after one episode for being too damn BORING)

Forget about Jeremy, what about...

'Internet dating with The Southern Yeti'

It could be interactive with viewers e-mailing in suggestions for which particular perversion he takes on each date...

I heard their new series was going to be called 'Have Your Cake and Eat It'. The premise is this. A roving reporter finds a disfigured/mentally disabled/poor/undereducated/mentally ill/fat person, then proceeds to point and laugh a them at some length. Then they give them a cake and tell them to eat it. If anyone complains that the show is exploitative, the producer says that they did them a favour because they gave them a cake.

bullheart knows too FAR much about fakengers... 😯

[i]'Internet dating with The Southern Yeti'[/i]

Will it be based on your blog?
You are keeping a record on a blog, aren't you?

bullheart knows too FAR much about fakengers...

I teach at the BRIT School.

You are keeping a record on a blog, aren't you?

LTFU*

(*Link the....)