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  • THE Swinley super-sexual super-fun all-welcoming October FUN RIDE!
  • philconsequence
    Free Member

    I’ve had a few emails asking when I’d organise another one and now people are mentioning it in threads on here I suppose I’d better get cracking 😀

    THE Swinley super-sexual super-fun all-welcoming October FUN RIDE!

    OK, here we go again :mrgreen: In the same way staff on planes ask you to pay attention as the safety announcement may have changed since your last flight, there are some changes and additional information in this post!

    I have broken it up into sections to try and answer as many questions in advance as possible:

    I’VE NOT HEARD OF THIS MAGICAL SOUNDING EVENT, WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?
    Who wants to join us for a chilled not so serious not too fast ride? A ride that is completely devoid of mad skilz, big air and judgement, an afternoon of getting muddy in Swinley…

    Equally who wants to meet up with some of the weirdos from this forum and blast through the single track like a scolded yeti?

    The first SwingleySexyParty ended up with some confusion at the beginning and we ended up with everyone heading out in one BIG group of just over 45 riders.. the second one had around 60-70ish turn up so we divided into groups.

    It’s shorter notice this time and its that time of year when the trails are nice and muddy, potentially a smaller turn out but I think it’s sensible to have a couple of groups if the attendance list grows big enough, for example:

    1 – “The A-Team”, a group of riders so fast and AWESOME that it would be mean and nasty to make them wait for the slower riders…

    2 – “The A(part2) Team”, as above, but possibly necessary if enough people come along to have 2 faster groups…

    3 – “The It’s not how fast you ride its how much fun you’re having (but secretly jealous of the extra confident healthy people) Team”…..

    Conversation and pace should be set by the slowest person in the “INHFYRIHMFYH(BSJOFECHP)” group so please dont worry about not keeping up with the mentalists, this should be an afternoon with lots of little stops and no pressure to be super skilled or speedy.

    If that sounds like your idea of fun, then it would be a pleasure to have you along.

    WHERE AND WHEN?[/u]
    The plan is to meet at 11:30 on Saturday 1st October in the LookOut carpark for fettling, pumping up tyres, admiring Yeti’s pre-ride stretches and then setting off to ride at 12o-clock lunchtime.

    It is worth emphasising that it is sensible to allow plenty of time to park and, if needs be, use the Coral Reef car park which is across the road from the entrance to the LookOut. There is an Overflow car park that is accessed from far right hand side of car park on the road that exits the car park… It is alongside the B3430 Nine Mile Ride.

    A webpage with the look out address details (on the right of the map), map and directions is available HERE….

    Once you’ve parked up, unloaded your dandyweapon of choice and checked your “tyre choice for Swinley?” thread then come join me underneath the trees to the right just as you go though the Go-Ape gates.

    ARE THERE ANY RULES?[/u]
    Rules? Wouldn’t that ruin the spirit of such a friendly chilled ride? Well yes it would if it was all taken too seriously, however there are some pointers that are worth getting out of the way now, fingers crossed they don’t come across as super-strict rules.. more pieces of advice to make your ride and everyone else’s that little bit more enjoyable.

    1) Bring your own spares,

    2) Bring your own camelback/water,

    3) Wear a helmet if you’ve got one or do your own risk assessment and dont,

    4) Bring your own mid-ride snacks, dont want any “bonking” now do we 😉

    5) Route will be decided upon the day by the “leaders” of each group and will be dependent on any trail closures/conditions…

    6) If LOTS of people turn up then we might need to break up into more than 2 groups, best to decide this on the day.

    7) As with the last sexyparty…In the spirit of a beginners/gentle/nothing-too-serious-ride I will be wearing full on downhill pyjamas, I will ride a carrera from Halfords and I will make sure any bike snobs out there will be mortally offended by my blatant disregard for the unwritten rules of MTB… so if anyone is worrying about what they ride or their choice of lycra, relax as you wont be judged!

    8 ) We ride at the pace of the slowest rider in each group, or we ride at our own pace and wait at the top of the next hill/section/junction for others to catch up.

    9) No pressure on anyone to do things they are not happy with as it’s all about having fun! Walking certain sections/hills will not be frowned upon.

    10) Due to potentially large numbers of riders, please don’t bring your dogs as chances are my friend Matt will ride into them whilst distracted by their awesomeness… he is still learning the hard way that you ride into what you’re looking at.

    Drink/nicotine/crack-pipes disclaimer:
    I dont really feel the need to tell people to be considerate, so I’ll just say that people are people and will do what they want, but in the spirit of a super-welcoming-ride if people do want to smoke/drink/turn up naked then I’d respectfully ask that people are considerate of those that might be put out by it, and for non-smokers to not make the poor nicotine starved feel guilty with disapproving looks etc.

    WHO’S GOING TO LEAD THE WAY?[/u]
    DrBike (Andy), CG, PaulD and Thisisnotaspoon did a full english pounds sterling job of leading in December/March and for this I am HUGELY greatful. As mentioned above for this to work with big numbers of riders we need to split up into the fasties and the pootlers, I’m looking for a volunteer to lead each group please…? 🙂

    If less than 15-20 turn up then we can all head out in one group and follow a random rider around for the ride, sticking close enough to worry them but when they turn around we can all turn away and whistle like we’re not up to nuffink 😆

    DOESN’T SWINLEY REQUIRE A PERMIT TO RIDE?[/u]
    Why yes it does, you can buy one on the day or alternatively you can buy in advance online…. link to purchase day permit:

    CLICK HERE then click on the THIRD link from the bottom.

    Please, please get a permit, there has been a lot of work put into trail maintainance recently and the permit money does help contribute towards that…. oh and the Rangers are cracking down on permits.

    WHATS THE PLAN FOR FOOD? I’M HUNGRY, LETS EAT YETI!![/u]
    Those who survive the afternoon are all invited to a post ride feast in the cafe.

    Seating is outside so maybe throw an extra layer in your car for when we get back, and feel free to bring your own snacks and drinks for the feast if you want to save money or treat the group to your own flapjack/cake creations.

    Please make sure you eat properly in the morning before the ride too!

    SO, ARE YOU UP FOR IT?[/u]
    If you’re planning on joining in then register your interest on this thread, I will give out my mobile number to those requesting it via email nearer the time.

    Feel free to invite your regular riding buddies along to it.

    This is going to be fun 😀

    DISCLAIMER:
    As this ride is simply a casual ride organised by a group of friends based in a magical digital world, we are not members of any association or federation and therefore are not covered by any insurance.

    By the very nature of the sport all-terrain biking does have a degree of RISK and we ask all those who join us to take this into consideration .

    I cannot accept any liability or responsibility for any incidents which may occur during this ride and suggest that those who are new to the sport ensure they are prepared for the inevitable, puncture, mechanical,rain shower and odd tumble or two.

    It is recommended that your mobile phone has an entry titled “EMERGENCY” or “ICE” (In Case of Emergency) with a contact number of someone you’d like contacted if something goes wrong… which we hope we will never have to use.

    Elfinsafety
    Free Member

    Yeah I’m up for it. Be a nice chance to have a chat face to face eh Phil? 😉

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    Good work Phil, I’ll be stretching in the Provence region a la France on this day. I’ll send you pics…

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    why the winking emoticon elfin? makes it seem like you’re not planning on it being fun and you just want to come and be confrontational…

    EDIT – wont you be at CG’s hosuewarming weekend?

    DezB
    Free Member

    Nice one Phil you handsome adonis you.
    Household decorating is almost finished, so I think I’m allowed out! 😀

    Elfin will sit in his puffer jacket and eat a pot of pasta, so no confrontations 🙂

    Lifer
    Free Member

    Interest registered.

    camo16
    Free Member

    Checking Google Maps to find out where Swinley is…

    I’m guessing it’s not the Swinley near Wigan, no it’s the… Dammit, you’re near London. 👿

    Would love to come, Phil, but there’s no way I’m going to be able to make it that far south. Hope everyone enjoys the day though.

    Elfinsafety
    Free Member

    makes it seem like you’re not planning on it being fun and you just want to come and be confrontational…

    Oh. 🙁

    Why would you think that of me, Phil?

    Email me if you have any concerns.

    PeterPoddy
    Free Member

    It’s worth me pointing out that this clashes with another (less public) ride which one or two people posting on this thread may have already said ‘yes’ to…..

    I know this because I have a calendar!

    Looks like I can’t come in that case Phil, sorry… 🙁

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    Dez… we’ve started a bit of a trend in our riding group of all setting up our various apple-based portable music players with the same solid steel podcasts and hitting play at the same time so we’re all riding around listening to the same stuff at the same time. its a surprisingly fun experience 😀

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    no need to apologise PP! its the only time i can ride that whole weekend due to other commitments (hence not being able to make CGs weekend) and there’s been calls for a swinley sexy party before the winter draws in.

    mboy
    Free Member

    Will see what I can do, not promising anything as going to be v poor, but if I can get a couple of people to share fuel costs I may well come…

    PaulD
    Free Member

    Phil,

    I am up for leading the fast group again…slightly different route to take in the new extended trail at Stickler.

    Let me know…

    PaulD.

    emsz
    Free Member

    Maybe…

    DezB
    Free Member

    Yo! Podcasts!

    (I don’t think I can do “the other ride”, as its too far for a day trip)

    MulletusMaximus
    Free Member

    Would like to come but I am too otherwise engaged in the another ride, as I suspect are quite a few others too.

    Maybe rearrange the date for the following weekend?

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    If emsz is coming you’ve got to move the date so that I can make it.

    You’ve simply got to.

    I’m in. Can guide or sweep if necessary, but not at fast group pace…

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    the problem with re-arranging the date is it never gets confirmed as someone always comes along wanting it changed 🙁 the dates been decided as 1st Oct.

    doesnt mean people can’t organise their own mini sexy parties at times that suit them and their riding buddies (like CG has done on the same weekend), in fact i positively encourage it!

    riding is fun, sharing that fun with others multiplies that fun.

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    Paul – you sir are fantastic 😀 good chance i’ll be taking you up on that offer!

    WillTheRealForumPleaseStandUp – you’re also a star!

    emsz
    Free Member

    I need to check with GF to see if we’re not doing anything, but I think she’ll have the car, ’bout time I showed up. 😳

    Kevsterjw
    Free Member

    I’m in.

    Elfinsafety
    Free Member

    You bringing any spare bottom brackets Phil? 😉

    TurnerGuy
    Free Member

    Who’s organising the name badges?

    AndyRT
    Free Member

    i am available as a guide, in cat3. Otherwise definitely be there!

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    mmmm name badges…. if there’s a demand for such luxuries i’m sure i could find time to buy some stickers before the event. just dont stick them on your helmet as a lot of people learnt last time! 😆

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    AndyRT – by cat3 do you mean you’re up for leading the chilled, gentle group? 🙂

    brakes
    Free Member

    is this just smoke and mirrors for covert dogging?
    I’m only into overt.

    Elfinsafety
    Free Member

    Seagulling?

    AndyRT
    Free Member

    yep. I’m not the fastest but do enjoy the technical bits like twister at Caesers camp, the tank traps thingy and Labyrinth etc…

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    sounds perfect Andy!

    cheers dude 8)

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    I’m IN!

    Happy to guide the B-Team* again.

    *I think we may actualy have had a lower average speed than the slow group last time, we just rode more fun bits!

    AndyRT
    Free Member

    my pleasure. so are we going to single guide per group or use a motorbike method of having a sweeper too?

    tazzymtb
    Full Member

    If I can get some other one geared odd bods together we may well represent the gnarly old punks on silly bikes brigade

    AndyRT
    Free Member

    personally use single gear as the perfect excuse not to make it up the steep hills 😯

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    p.s. If anyone fancises joining in, in a kind of northern war-party raid kinda way I’ll be pootling down the M1 on the Friday night, and back up on the Sunday night.

    Room for another 2 or 3 plus bikes in the car.

    Setting off from Middleborough arround 4pm on Friday, arriving back arround midnight Sunday/early am Monday.

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    single guide and sweeper system works well 🙂

    thisisnotaspoon, you’re my 3rd star of the day… treat yourself to a kitkat!

    so we have our sexy group leaders:

    PaulD – speedy group
    TINAS – medium group
    AndyRT – bimblers united group

    :mrgreen:

    thisisnotaspoon
    Free Member

    personally use single gear as the perfect excuse not to make it up the steep hills

    Swinley has steep hills?

    Elfinsafety
    Free Member

    personally use single gear as the perfect excuse not to make it up the steep hills

    What ‘steep hills’? 😕

    The only climb that’s slightly tricky on a SS is The Wall, cos it’s gravelly and a 32/16 can spin out. 32/15 ftw. Nothing else is remotely difficult at Swinley for a SS.

    AndyRT
    Free Member

    hidden away, yes

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