Mine: went to school with Gary Barlow

people come up to me in the middle of nowhere and say "You are simonfbarnes". Then I have to run away.

I went to school with the little brother of one of the drummers in showaddywaddy

An old freind of my mother's is Jimmy Saville's cousin.

I used to be a newsreader

I used to be friends with Tim Kellett, the trumpet player from Simply Red (later formed a dance band called Olive too) and have blown his trumpet.

Ahem.

My Great Grandad was the first person to drive a tractor in Somerset…

I opened a train door into Paul Daniels' face and gave him a black eye.

you're not alone MF

AndyP – thanks, he called me piddly pants on a show once, i've never forgiven him

I am a published poet.

got selected to ride for GB in 94.
never did though it would have taken about six folk to get ill or something before the worlds.
that alone still makes me happy though 😉

went out with a girl from helensburgh whose uncle was victor meldrew

people come up to me in the middle of nowhere and say "You are simonfbarnes". Then I have to run away.

More specifically you mean the Police rather than just 'people' don't you?

In the magazine adverts for Singleton Whisky the rocks in the riverbed at the chosen location in Glencoe were the wrong colour so I had to source two tonnes of white Syke Marble pebbles (so you could see the colour of the whiskey in the bottle), hand ball theme across a bog, lay them in the riverbed for the photo then pluck every last one of them back out and take them back to where they came from.

I've shared a bath with one of the headliners from this years Reading and Leads Festival

I know how Renee Zelwegger likes her eggs in the morning

My mum used to have her hair done by Fred Dibnah's first wife AND I went to school with one of Stu (ooh I could crush a grape) Francis' children (apprently).

What do I win?

I shook Bob Crow's hand on Sunday.

I sold David "Kid" Jensen a pair of padded underpants.

I was on Cracker Jack, and somewhere still have a pen (one of those really cheap ones with a cord that goes round your neck) Me and Robert Hollingsworth went on from our Primary school. The Nolans were singing, one of them asked if I wanted an autograph, I declined…

Also Sigourny Weaver held doors open for me at Elstree studios as I carried a very light but large stage prop overstuffed leather chair for a school production of "The Importance or Being Ernest" (our English teacher knew some-one at the studio). I had no idea it was her, as I could only really see her feet. It wasn't until I reached the car park and I put the chair down that I realised who it was.

mrsmw's PHD supervisor sacked Mark Knopfler from his band because he was crap

I went to school with Nick Craig.

On a Simply Red theme from above, I went out drinking with Mick Hucknall a couple of times because we were friends with Gavan Whelan from James who knew him.

ooh ooh ooh

Brian Blessed knows me by my first name

8)

Jimmy Carr stole a joke i told over dinner and used it in his performance

I went out drinking with Mick Hucknall a couple of times

and you wasted the opportunity to deck the bastard ???

In our small workplace of about 10 people, there is:

Spiritualized's bass player
Julian Cope's drummer
the ex Bad Manners bass player.

🙂

I'm actually the messiah. Dad said best not mention it to people as they can get a tad excitable

Brian Blessed story, A mate of mine went out for a short time with a girl who's family were quite close to the Blesseds, they meet up after a performance at a restaurant, this girl says "Chris (my mate) does a great impersonation of you, Brian" Oh really, says Brian, lets hear it then, Chris massively nervous and embarrassed as you can imagine does his impersonation, thing is, it really was a good impression, Brian laughs like a drain, thinks it's the funniest thing he's heard in ages…

Brian Blessed laughs like a drain at the end of every sentence! he also swears like a sailor with tourettes

Paul MacGann's wife told me an anacdote about Omar Sharif and Polaroids and Lady Gardens, told to her by Brian Blessed, to whom Omar foisted the polaroids upon. Its very funny, but it would be sooooo much funnier being told by Brian Blessed. So if you meet BB try and shoe-horn Omar Sharif into the conversation.

I scored twice against Stoke City – Lee Dixon didn't mark me as well as she should have.. there are other claims, but that is my favourite

people come up to me in the middle of nowhere and say "You are simonfbarnes".

And then waste the opportunity to deck the bastard! 🙂

in my defence it was before he was properly famous. Mick was pretty quiet then.

you're not alone MF

😆

Another claim to fame – one of my best mates from school (all those years ago) has supported Terrorvision, Saxon and the great Ozzy – and he counts Sharon as a friend due to his dealings with her when supporting Ozzy.

I have had the same as Simon – happily riding along on the tandem when some shouts – your TandemJeremy – its happened a few times now. I don't know whether to be pleased or not

I'm in the 1988ish BBC version of Chronicles of Narnia as an extra. You'd do bloody well to spot me but I'm there alright (not up the Lion's arse).

Met General Norman Schwarzkopf when I works in Saudi Arabia in Al Khobar.

It was a month before it "kicked off" and was all a bit secret squirrel.

i had a picture of a train i made published in the 'LEGO Club' magazine

i was delivered by patrick steptoe of 'test tube baby' fame. no i wasnt one before you ask 😉

Hmmm probably my best claim to fame – world tkd cdk champion 2001 (dan grade welter weight)

Famous people wise I bumped into Gok Wan in Brighton the other day too, he was buying the most tastless fake regency sofa I've ever seen 🙂

And then waste the opportunity to deck the bastard!

well, shall we say I may be slightly less charmless in person ?

My ex girlfriend was best mates with "TV chef" James "I hate cyclists" Martin's little sister apparently

Does it get any better?

Went to school with bloke who set up VIZ mag.

I have had a beer with Norm from Cheers.