My whole neighbour hood is nuts, people shouting at all hours of the day and night, beebing horns, blasting music.

As for my actual neighbours, I have a criminal living next door, who I don’t really mind, but him getting busted all the time and blaring music as well as my buzzer going at all hours of the day and night, can be a bit of a pain.

Earlier today busted by the coppers, so had a joint in the stair, one of my bearing suppliers turns up for a delivery. You’ve got the fuzz taking away evidence and the stair smelling of dope. Doesn’t look good, since I need that supplier, just like I need my other 6 suppliers.

Earlier today!

Then you have the polish couple down the stairs on the opposite side, who have to put up with the shady bloke and his noise. Lovely quiet hard working people, below me is the housing association that takes up three levels. On the other side below my polish neighbours you have a woman of african decent who is also lovely and at the bottom floor.

Crazy Alkie Lady.

she blares music at all hours of the day and night, invites her friends over for a Karaoke, ever heard an alcoholic Karaoke, vocal cords destroyed by alcohol abuse. One night she played the same song for 6 hour in a row and sang at the top of her lungs. Then she sang a song that she improvised on the spot, I like fu king sex, well a do, No all no shurrup, a like fu king sex and am no bothered who kens it.

time for the chorus

I LIKE FU KING SEX, I LIKE FU KING SEX, I LIKE FU KING SEX, SO A FU KING DO!!!

I could go on all day and night about my neighbours, but I just laugh when it happens, then call the cops or environmental wardens.

We are for the most part crammed in like sardines, sh1t is gonna happen! all you can really do is survive!

He’s recently made an official complaint to the Environmental Health about us walking too loudly around our house (I didn’t realise socks made that much noise!)

Last Friday, he’s screaming expletives through the wall at us, then as I set off cycling to work, tries to chase me in his car to run me down!

you live next door to KingTut and I win £5..

I lived nextdoor to some pretty irritating lads once..

I used to live down the hall from a gang of feral youths.. one of whom rented a bedsit and the other twenty or so of them took advantage and used it as their weed/whitecider/techno/gurners and boasting den..

At first I was all live and let live about it… At the time I was fond of a party and as I played some loud music myself occasionally I thought it would be handy to be able to blame it on them.. things got a bit too much eventually.. with fighting in the hall.. police.. stolen goods and a couple of demands of money with menaces..

My girlfriend at the time knocked one of them out cold with a china doornob one night by throwing it down the stairs and catching him square between the eyes after encountering him brandishing a knife and growling incoherent threats..

I didn’t sleep properly for weeks because of the 24 hour noise and I was a bit fearful of having to go round and have a word..

my fears were unfounded however.. I was invited in.. offered a spliff and a line.. given a cuppa.. listened to earnestly and given assurances that I wouldn’t be disturbed again..

it worked pretty well.. and if the noise ever got too much again I had only to go and bang on the door for instant gratification..

unsurprisingly neighbours can be very … err.. neighbourly

My neighbour leaves the key to his car in the ignition. Therefore I use it.

He’s quiet other than Friday and Sat evening between 12:30 and 2am where he more often than not karaokes.

Spoke with him one Sunday evening when he was screaming James blunt, he appologised and that was it. Turned it down quite a bit and is otherwise really canny.

I was going to get environmental health involved but on going to ask about his boiler and how it was setup, he invited me in and showed me everything there was to know about modifying the house and heating.

cynic-al – Member
When I turn my music down I can hear mine going on about suspension bearings all the time

kaesae – Member
Just turn your hearing aid down as well!

😆

Ha ha! Pwned! Nice one Kaesae; qualitage!

We used to live in a flat above a real twunt, the other neighbours were all lovely but he just terrorised them (we were the only ones working, everyone else was retired, including him). He was one of those mean, petty, bitter old fools, he thought he lorded it over everyone in the flats and constantly sniped and bragged. He hated the fact I had bikes, and made snippy comments just loud enough for me to hear – which I just ignored. There was a communal car parking spot out the front for vistors which he decided was his (he did drive a Lexus with a personalised plate – says it all really) and had a screaming hissy fit if anyone went near it.

He was really nasty to the poor old housebound woman next to him, a real bully. He tried it with us once when we moved in, but I told him in uncertain terms where he stood and then he just resorted to muttered mindless comments – he never actually had the bottle to stand up to me to my face. He told another (lovely) couple that he wished they were dead when they returned from her mothers’ funeral (they’d parked briefly out the front on the way to it)! His wife was utterly terrified of him – she wouldn’t speak to him when she answered the door when his TV was blaring late at night, she said she was “too scared” of him. Basically, a bully.

I largely ignored the old twunt, even when I am sure it was him who put 3 dents in our car. I did accidentally spin my muddy wheel on my bike after cleaning it all over his precious just-valeted car a couple of times though. So clumsy.

I so badly wanted to pay to have an unmarked skip parked clumsily next to his car to block him in when we left, but decided it was just sad how much bitterness he held inside him. It would have been hilarious though, as he would have internally combusted, I am sure.

Old guy a couple of doors down gets pissed and does the shouting thing a lot, lots of kids in our street so police get called a lot his language is not the best.

Got a suspended sentence for aiming a crossbow at someone he thought was selling drugs to kids. Police came round and took a whole load of guns away. A few weeks after that he was shooting a starter pistol out of his window, cue more police and screaming.

When he’s sober he’s fine but that’s getting rarer and rarer now, last weekend he was standing in the middle of the road trying to sell a bike at 9.30 on a saturday night.

His catchphrase is “I’m not a c***” usually repeated over and over while police try and calm him down.

My neigbourly woes have been well documented on here.
Recent incidents include him getting a heatpump installed in his house which meant they really could only get the inverter to his via my path and over my (fckn expensive) new fencing. Which they destroyed. I was actually in at the time and saw them do it so went out. They sort of stood there going erm, ah, yeah but he said it would be fine. I took some photos and told him he;d be paying for the replacement. He said that they would not have been on my property etc – its physically impossible for him to get to that bit of his house without going on my property and anyway I HAD PHOTOS of them there at the time. Long story – solicitors letter. Got home to find he had scaffolded his house which meant scaff all over my path and accessway !! Rang the scaff company told them to come and take it down which to their credit they did quick smart as the owner had a written access declaration from him with a scribbled signature which was apparently mine! He was mortifed and being a staunch kiwi bloke hit my neighbour up about it while i was there, classic, he was stumped about what to say. Just to really finish things off i’ve reported his illegal garage to the council and also he has now got a letter telling him he can;t park his car on my land which is what he has been doing (and i turned a blind eye for a long time but then needed access to that space).
Quite frankly he is a d1ck and i’ve tried to be reasonable for a long time but its one way traffic so **** him.

On one side there’s a lovely couple from Devon who bake me things and are always offering to help me with the garden.

On the other side there’s a biker, nice enough guy, but keeps himself to himself. He has some enormous friends who pop around every now and again to do biker type stuff in the back garden.

My flat used to be occupied by a working girl, I’ve had a couple of visits from confused looking gents who’ve made their excuses and left. One of them propositioned my ex, asking her if she was ‘new’ when she answered the door!

Mother in law (lives in the US) had a meth den in the flat downstairs and in the storage unit across the road a “working girl” bought a unit, a mattress and ran her business from there. WONDERFUL area (Auburn, Washington if anyone cares).

think i’m pretty lucky where i live at the moment, the only negatives are:

1) the family over the road.. 8 kids, broken old v8 landrover the mum drives about loudly in the middle of the night to drop drugs off at her local family houses to be sold. the only house in the cul de sac that makes it look remotely scruffy.

2) my OH’s constant parking battle with the ladies next door, they wont speak to each other which is highly amusing, some weird woman battle for superiority thing.

other than that its full of 2 or 3 bedroom houses with young families and couples. nobody really chats to each other much, but i think its just peachy as it is, peaceful, quiet and pretty safe 🙂

My neighbours are cool, really relaxed. The only fault is her taste in music and, occasionally only, her screaming “Give it to me, deeeeepaaaaa!!!!!!! Faaaaaaa!!!! Oooh yaaaa!!!!” etc. One of the other neighbours went to see if she was ok, he suspected her being hurt. We still laugh at him after several months.

I have the clampits next door as neighbours… 5 of them (3 kids, 2M & 1F – all teenagers) in a two bed mid terrace with a large dog. On occasion the gran parents come to visit also with one of their cousins. So that’s now 8 people 4 adults and 4 kids. I reckon they must pick a stair each and crash out on it.

A couple of months back there was a problem with the communal drain which runs along the back of our property. Next door (dubbed Onslo) proceeded to try an unblock it with various brush shafts etc and anything he pulled out (sanitary towels etc) he left in a neat little pile in our garden. Nice. Turns out the source of the problem was coming from their property and flows past ours then onto the main soil connection at the front of the property. Got a **** off big fence built up now! 🙂

Also come home from work to find them sunbathing in our garden on occassion!

I had a neighbour in London that used to shout out at the top of her voice that she was coming.

I absolutely loved it and never tired of being woken by it. Mrshora said she wanted to gag her 😆

my housemate is rounder and greasier than a ball of butter. He replied to an advert to fill a room. My other housemate who ‘approved’ him has since moved out… grr.

This guy is incredible; typical meals are 6 chicken wings, packet of sausages, bag of chips and big coffee from the same mug he’s been using for 3months. Covers the kitchen in grease, the kettle is always greasy, house stinks of meat, his room smells like it has a couple of prostitutes hidden under the floorboards and does sod all housework.

I’m looking forward to moving out too, he’s a nightmare. And depressing.

retro83 – Member
That combined with her awful, awful taste in music and a love for late night karaoke can be a little bit wearing.

I did wonder if she would be embarrassed if she knew we could hear her so clearly; then I saw her one day wandering around in tesco in pyjamas and wellies. Clearly this is a lady who does not give one iota of a shite about what people think of her!

Around here this is some sort of uniform, when you see a woman in PJ’s in the middle of the day it sets you wondering whether she has just got up, not got changed, or is planning an early night? Lazy cows!

I moved, therefore I am happy once more. 😆
It would have led to assult charges if i didnt move!
Sick to death of my old neighbours territorial nonsense.
Parked HIS car in front of MY house for a year solid. When he moved his car, he put another car in its place, so he wouldn’t lose the space.
Even moved MY bin bags in front of MY house so HIS bin bags were nearest HIS house (he had no wall on the pavement as he converted his front garden to a parking space, so put his bin bags in front of the wall in front of MY house).
All attempts at being reasonable failed and he was always right. Now have lovely neighbours who I either never see or chat to over the wall occasionally. Lovely lovely lovely. I didnt realise quite how much it affected my life until I left it behind.

Yeah, you get a lot of people nowadays who seem to think mucking other people about, is some kind of accomplishment. I blame it on the TV, all these stupid plots and scemes or deranged lunatic characters.

I just avoid our modern culture, every time I come across so called normal people or norms as I like to call them, they try and turn my life into a soap show.

Then you have biking, the great escape, where people are fit and healthy even happy 😀 norms! say hi to them and 9 out of 10 will ignore you.

Bikers! say hi and you’ve got a much better chance of making a connection and getting through to an actual person.

Modern living isn’t easy, but we have some of the biggest fools since the dawn of time in charge or our lives. I just laugh about my neighbours for the most part, as long as they don’t pose a physical threat. If they do pose a physical threat, just go into survival mode and do what you have to!

Thanks to everyone that posted, not sure why but it feels strangely comforting knowing other people have to put up with sh1t as well. Saying that, I hope you are all safe and don’t let it get you down too much. Those of you that have kids, that sucks, if I could help I would.

End of the day, wait until you move, then go commando on their ass’s. Creative revenge, sh1t in your life, sh1t in their’s! at a time and place of your choosing, of course!

Some funny posts, I hope that there are more, I do love to laugh!

There must be more funny stories?

we had a period of a crazed raver playing music through a massive system and lots of underage party goers all night during the week and weekends. He’s gone now.Was hell trying to sleep.

It’s like they live in a bubble made of me! Me! ME! I was a raver back in the early 90’s.

Mad for it and an expert glow stick waver!

1 flat below years ago in Glasgow used to always wake us up with dance music at 2-3am. Eventually called Polis who suprisingly turned up and we let them into the close. The sound of the toilet frantically flushing as the Polis banged on the door shouting Strathclyde Polis Open the door now! still lives with me.

Lived in an old converted house for a while with centralised boiler and electrics. 1 t**t wouldn’t stop playing heavy metal at 3 am so I just went and switched his electric off. He cursed and banged into things for about 1/2 an hour before he gave up till morning.

We’ve lived in Toxteth (knife gangs broke into that block of flats and ‘steamed’ through.) They left before they got up to our flat but they cut up a couple of people on the ground floor. Plus we were pretty much the wrong colour so we got a lot of agro when we came in and out of the flat not to mention getting acosted by all sorts of neer do wells all the time including the prostitutes who used the front wall as a resting place. I was threatened with guns when I asked two lads to turn the music down in their car.

We’ve lived in inner city Manchester, one chap got stabbed in our back garden, another just across the road, offie at the top of the road was always getting held up with guns and I would regularly have to nudge smack heads off our front lawn with my boot.

Then we moved here. None of that stuff but the anti-social behaviour was appalling. I’ve had so many arguments with the kids on the street (all growed up now, let on to me and talk), we’ve had properly noisy and thoughtless neighbours on both sides, music so freaking loud it could be heard on the main road, cars parked right across our drive, cans and fag ends thrown in our garden, front and back. I’ve had to rescue my son more than once from the local **** trying to start a fight with him.

And all in all, the anti-social behaviour has a massively greater impact on quality of life than the proper nasty violent stuff. The way it slowly creeps into your life and pervades through it until it’s trying to take over your soul. It’s scary looking out the back window and seeing someone lying in a pool of blood but it’s far more likely to make you mental listening to someone try finally string all the notes of ‘stairway to heaven’ together with a four star rating at top **** volume for the 49th frigging time.

I’m 42 and, for the first time ever, I like my neighbours.

So far:-
**** drug dealer and his barking dog. He claimed his dog barked cos we were teaching it swear words…..

Moron white van driver who thought parking his mobile advert that he had no education outside my house was somehow good.

Idiot who thought HIS dog coming into my garden was my fault and left a note through my door asking ME to change my fence for a higher one.

BITCH Olivia and her yapping runt dogs. Barking 24:7. We complained, she dismissed. Her dogs shat on my drive, she dismissed. Her dogs attacked my ex, she dismissed. I’d happily have killed her and her dogs.

Current neighbour is lovely 🙂

I appreciate many of my problems are dog related and I don’t want people to think I hate dogs.

But I do. They stink.

The worst neighbours ever, COULD MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN BEARD!
(Plus check out the hot redhead)
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/11/12/2010-11-12_kentucky_man_says_his_former_friends_forced_him_to_eat_his_beard_over_lawn_mower.html

I absolutely loved it and never tired of being woken by it. Mrshora said she wanted to gag her

Cracking one off to the neighbours. An honourable past time

Not cracking one off- shagging. You could hear her panting (I’m surprised she never passed out from over-oxygenation) and then her mantra…oh Im going to come, Im going to come…IM COMING IM COMING (shouted as if she was reading it off a sheet of paper).

Oh. Loved it

Then on the flipside was the girl my bestmate used to see- she used to burst into tears and cry at orgasm (yes, she really was happy apperently).