I give you the Duke of York, Halifax Road, Todmorden.

Popped in for a post work pint last night to be greeted by the following:

1. Perma-drunk, snivelling little toady of a landlord.
2. The worst food I have ever eaten.
3. Rough beer.
4. Vile, racist, ignorant, offensive, hostile, inbred and unbalanced customers.
5. It smells, very strongly, of human excrement.

I've been in some terrible boozers over the years, but this one really ticks all the wrong boxes.

Funny, when I moved to Tod 15 years ago, I was expecting all the pubs to be really nice. They aren't. With the exception of the Mason's Arms on Bacup Road, they are terrible, angry, nasty, insular, hateful little islands of despair.
They even make the Ducie Bridge opposite the CIS in Manchester look welcoming, and I've found a less threatening atmosphere in the Benchill pub in Wythenshawe.

Any other takers for the title?

Don't get me started on my "local", right down the pan I say.

Can't move for "union jacks" (sic) and Burnley Flags.

If it wasn't for the "smug" lads then I would be off.

the pub next to the train station in edale

what ever you do do not complain about anything, you will be asked to leave

I had an experience in The Goat’s Gate in Whitefield a couple of years back. Surly staff, crap beer and mutant locals. Our crimes that nearly got us into trouble were as follows:-

A friend of mine laughed too loudly at a joke.
Somebody sat in a local’s chair (the local was not actually in the pub, or it would have been a lot worse).
We had too many people sat round our table.

It’s not as if we were causing trouble. We were a bunch of 30/40 somethings out with our wives.

Arseholes. I don’t know why they needed webbed fingers as it is miles from the coast.

I work a couple of hundred yards away from the Ducie Bridge and amazingly have never been tempted in. Funny that. The further you get away from a city centre, the worse it gets IMHO

I'd like to nominate The Ship Inn in Styal. Absolutely bloody awful. Its a lovely little spot in a beautiful village. Its a pity its run by an obnoxious little turd who's idea of great service seems to amount to not spitting in your drink.

We moved a seat over from another table in the place by Edale station. Serious error. 🙂

There's variants of awful, isn't there? Webbed feet, fascism and the smell of poo on one hand, and pretentious food, the £5 pint and a general air of hauteur on the other.

I've never had a problem in the Rambler.

*actually, tell a lie. Ordered a drink, the barrel went off so they went to change it and said they'd put the beer on the bar. They didn't (a mate was there all the time), and then said someone had taken it.

For bad pubs in Manchester city centre, the Ducie cannot be beaten.
It's filthy, they water down the beer and the blonde behind the bar (the one with the teeth made out of orange peel) will try and give you the wrong change EVERY SINGLE TIME you buy a drink.

Had a few mates from work who wouldn't walk any further, so endured it occasionally.

Won a few quid doing beer races in there though, and a mate once fell asleep on the pan for four hours – ended up having to kick the door in to rescue him, so it wasn't all bad.

Remember the Dancing Weasel on Great Ancoats Street? That was a bit rum as well…….

The Hare and Hounds in the Northern Quarter is so bad, its great!! The karaoke nights have to be seen to be believed

Crap pubs of yesteryear…

Paddy's Rat & Carrot on Cross Steet, Manchester. Nearly got t##tted in there for no reason at all. Plastic Oirish dump. Thank God the IRA set off the largest bomb on mainland Brittain right outside it.

All this makes Manchester sound like a mecca for bad pubs, so here are some good ones.

The Rising Sun
The Nag's Head
The Townhall Tavern
Both Chop houses
The Ape & Apple
The Britton's Protection
The Peveril of The Peak
Rain Bar
The New Union 😉

binners, the Hare and Hounds is indeed excellent. Les Dawson on the piano, the new landlady looks like the worlds oldest hooker and the behaviour of some of the oldies has to be seen to be believed. 😀

Have you ever been in Bar Fringe opposite Band on The Wall? Wonderful boozer ruined by an addled, loudmouth cokehead of a landlady. Great beer though.

Bar Fringe is ace.

My mate dropped one of their fancy glasses and the very fit and slighty mad girl behind the bar told him "if that had broken I would have taken your shoes".

Harry, you are indeed a man of taste.

However, you missed off:

The Odd Bar.
The Knott Bar Fringe.
The Marble Arch.
The Mitre.
The City Arms.
The Circus Tavern.
The Crown and Anchor.

Top boozers all.

The Mitre!

Years back, before they did it up, a mate spilled a pint over his pants so he went to the loo to spend some time under the hand drier. To get a little closer to the vent he climbed up onto the lip of the enormous stainless steel pee trench. All was going well until his foot slipped and he slid sideways into it. Unfortunately due to an earlier attack by some mystery vomiter the drain was clogged, so he fell into a 6ft wide bath of puke, wee, dimps and pineapple chunks.

Rusty, when the hiatus caused by the imminent arrival of child#2 has died down we should have a STW Evening Of Culture (EOC) in some of these establishments.

The Ship down by Salford Bridge was a den of "what have you" years ago.

Of a Friday there used to be turns on and was an absolute scream, there used to be a old lass with legs like a billiards table and a voice like an asthmatic goat. oh those heady days of "late tastes" and snatching one from under the towels, as it were.

IIRC The Foresters in Prestwich (lino and Formica Holts dungeon) once had a piano in the toilet.

Awesome.

I'm voting for 'The Silver Dollar' at the top of our road. The owner is completely caked off his tree ALL the time. All the owners children are smack heads and will regularly try and scam money off the regulars. If you want to have a fight with someone, just go in, you won't be waiting long.

I once ordered a pint and while I was waiting for the toothless old hag behind the bar to finish drooling in it someone stole my other drink. when I wasn't looking. When I asked where it had gone, the barmaid smiled pleasantly and nodded to a corner where one of the many local rummeys could be seen guarding the drink with a frantic look in his eye. I started over to the corner to take it off him and 3 blokes who looked like they'd just finished a hard days burying people in gravel pits all stood in my way. When I went back to the bar my pint was there but about a third of it had gone, no-one could tell me who had drunk it but the owner had wet lips.

As we left, still thirsty, someone shouted '****'. (the bad word that starts with tw and ends with at)

edit: oh, and there used to be a pub in Wigan by the train station where the locals would all gather at the bar on a Friday night. They each took in it turns to smack the next person who walked through the door. No matter who it was, friend, copper, the terminator, their wife, they had to walk up to whoever it was and punch them in the head.

You're on Harry.

We'll have to pick and choose though – I've lost form and can't handle much these days.
One sniff of a brewery horses' fart and I'm reelin'. 😀

Same here. Last time I was in a pub for a proper drink was February!

Church Inn, Prestwich BTW.

Nice building
Good beer
Odd landlord

All boxes ticked 😉

The Crown, East Lancs road Liverpool.

Grim doesnt even begin to describe it!

The Jack of Both Sides as was on Cemy Junction in Reading, ropey beer and terrifying locals, when the bill finally got round to raiding it and shutting it down they wore riot gear and took along the Armed response unit.

The Britannia Inn in Truro, stroppy and crap landlord, awful beer, and locals who make all those jokes about incest in Cornwall look true.

Sheesh, all that is making me miss the Ivanhoe in Lochee,Dundee.The first pub I drank in(cos they served 15yo boys), and by far and away the most dangerous (and I did the doors to pay Uni)Crap beer, rabid Catholic customers (regular colections for the cause)and various holes in the walls caused by application of flesh and bone. I once did a door where two guys had a square-go outside and one died, but it was NEVER as rough as the 'hoe. Happy days…

Agree with the list of skanky boozers in Manchester…although I seem to remember The King on Oldham Street used to be a strong contender for biggest toilet in the city. The Kings Arms in Salford is ace for Beer, as is The Crescent in Salford. The Marble in Chorlton is not too bad…same goes for The Bar when its not infested with a load of sub-Nathan Barley types.

The Jack of Both Sides when I knew it in '92 was a $%it hole of the highest order.

Mind you the Greymare on Graymare Lane/Ashton Old Road took some beating, some nasty folks in there back in the day I can tell you

Vat a qvality list of pubs of mancunia from Harry and Rusty.

Rambler in Edale is dreadful. They are v anti bikes too. We used to do night rides from there, and I'd rather nail my money to a passing boxer's head than give it to that wretched pub anymore. spit.

surfer – Member

The Crown, East Lancs road Liverpool.

Grim doesnt even begin to describe it!

That was an important centre of commerce in north Liverpool
As my old grandad once told me,
"In the Crown you could buy anything, from a pin to an elephant…..It might have a had a few dents from where it fell off a ship on the dock road though"

It was demolished a few years ago.

Another truly pish pub is the King George iv in Eskdale. That was Fawlty Towers bad last time we went there.

oh those heady days of "late tastes" and snatching one from under the towels, as it were.

I can only imagine the seediness that tis sentence describes, I've quite literally no idea what it means. 🙂

Oh and I forgot the, appropriately named, Battle, on Battle road, conveniently near Battle hospital, in west Reading. Not being a local (or Irish for some reason) was sufficient reason for a kicking most of the time. I never bothered to find out what the beer was like, funnily enough, but it looked pretty rancid inside.

It sounds like I've led a very sheltered life.

Oh, actually, I remember going in a back-street place in Longton (Stoke-on-Trent) in 90s that had bullet holes in the windows. Lovely place.

"late tastes" refers to a "lock in" which in the pre Blair days was a treat reserved for bent coppers and locals in the know being served AFTER HOURS

And snatching one from under the towels is Manchester dialect for getting a beer after the towels were put over the beer pumps as a sign that last orders had been served.

So there you go

pretentious food, the £5 pint and a general air of hauteur on the other.

For which, I nominate in this thread The Metropolitan in West Didsbury. Entirely full of c*cks and pikeys from Withington. Which just won't do.

I am fortunate, however, that I work in a building perfectly spaced between the Britons and the Pev in central Manchester.

the pev is a fine ale house, as was Tommy Ducks, knickers and all

the Hare and Hounds binners where a female drank me under the table 🙄

The Sportsman in Hudds (now closed). One of the girls I took in odered a vodka and orange and they asked how to make it….then used orange cordial. All the old blokes in there looked on the point of masterbation. Looked like they'd not seen 20something girls for decades..

The Metropolitan in West Didsbury – Craphole. Got dumped in there many years ago by a very exciting nurse.

And they wonder why the British pub is in decline…

Does The Rat & Ratchet still exist in Huddersfield?

Never been, but I'm sure the 'Hen & Chickens' between the crown and magistrates courst in Sheffield is a hole

Does The Rat & Ratchet still exist in Huddersfield?

Amen yes – brilliant pub. Star just down the road, Grove just up the road.